Monthly Archives: October 2014

Happy = sad

Feeling good hurts. I’ve had a couple of glimpses now in distracted moments. The relief is so unfamiliar it tickles my awareness and I boomerang back. You could watch it happen if you knew what to look for. My breath rushes out and my eyebrows … Continue reading

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Finding comfort

The boy and I were/are not religious. I tried agnosticism for a while until I realized that liking an idea was not the same as believing it might be true. The boy grew up in a churchy culture but concluded long ago that … Continue reading

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And a distracted day

Attention span has always been a problem for me. I’m pretty sure I have ADD. Grief multiplies the effect dramatically. I drift between tasks randomly. I can’t settle into anything for long – even watching television is a challenge. I have to … Continue reading

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A practical day

I met a couple of friends for a walk yesterday. It felt good to get out of the house but it reminded me of just how many more MHID (my husband is dead) conversations lie ahead when I ran into … Continue reading

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Two weeks and counting…

Time moves at a bizarre pace. It’s hard to believe life was normal just a few weeks ago.The world is fractured and I am struggling to think. The first night and day were surreal and confusing – just trying to understand the … Continue reading

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Once Upon a Time…

…there was a beautiful boy. He was crazy smart and incredibly talented. He was kind and generous and when his eyes twinkled, you couldn’t help but love him. And of course, there was a girl. She bounced through a happy childhood, … Continue reading

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