Another rough day. I can’t seem to get back on solid ground. Even curling up for a good cry with my photos doesn’t seem to help for very long. I spent half the day watching TV as a distraction. Not the best choice since I just pay later for delaying tactics.

I spent the other half of the day trying to get things done, and mostly not succeeding. The slightest frustration makes me want to scream. I’ve cursed at my computer several times now and have been struggling not to take my temper out on the dog. Fortunately he’s been well behaved today.

I think this one is related to stress. I need to finish up some work before I leave on Tuesday and just can’t seem to settle back into it. The stress of that approaching deadline is winding me up in a knot. I can almost hear the voice at the back of my brain telling me that I have every right to just curl up in a ball and refuse to do anything. Not helpful. At least I know I’ll be done soon. I have no clue how people deal with something like this and keep on working.

I forced myself to spend a couple of hours cleaning up my work computer at least – grabbing copies of personal files and identifying the work ones I need to publish somewhere or pass along to someone else’s care. I felt like I was going to explode the whole time. The neighbors invited me over for an evening in front of the fire – which would have been great on one of my lonelier nights but not in this state. I declined – explaining I’m trying to wrap up some work tonight. Hopefully it won’t dissuade them from asking again. Evenings alone can be rough some nights.

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