I found the boy in my dreams again this morning and this time I got it right.
I knew when I saw him that it was a dream. Desperate to keep him there I dashed in for a hug. I was in his arms before the spell broke and held him as tight as I could. The contact felt so real. It anchored us I think, and for the first time I was able to hold onto him without that first hint of memory chasing him away. We held each other and smiled and I started to relax as I realized he wasn’t going to evaporate this time. We talked a little. I don’t remember what about – just small, normal stuff. I was afraid from past experiences that anything else would be breaking the rules.
I’m not sure how long we had together but it was enough. His dream hug was every bit as healing as the real ones always had been. This time when I woke up I had a sense of hope. If I can visit him in my dreams he’s still with me in a small way. I feel a tiny bit less alone.
Maybe I am going to be okay.