Category Archives: Uncategorized

3 Years, 3 months, 3 days

The person I was before my loss is gone. I lost track of myself. I felt like I was playing a part. It wasn’t until I decided to go back to work that that started to change. Work brought structure, … Continue reading

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Two.

It is the second anniversary of the boy’s death. I have spent two full years in this void. It seems like an eternity. It seems like a blink. I still miss him constantly. I am still broken. I still don’t … Continue reading

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About the second year

It’s 1:30 in the morning as I start to write this. I can’t sleep. Again. The cycles of sleeplessness haven’t changed much other than becoming less frequent. I still have nights when it feels like the world has ended and … Continue reading

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Once around the sun

I’ve made it through my first year alone and the last painful ‘first’ anniversary: the boy’s death. It’s time acknowledge the progress I’ve made and give some thought to the future. My life is  still defined by my grief but … Continue reading

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The approaching chill

I measure my progress by productivity and activity and the past month has been good, by that measure. I have spent more time with people, kept my house and garden in order, and taken care of a couple things that … Continue reading

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And the milestones roll by

I have seen a number of milestones in recent months: our anniversary, my birthday, scattering the ashes, his birthday…  I didn’t realize there would be so many significant dates to wrestle with. As each one looms I tell myself it … Continue reading

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Saying goodbye

I brought the boy’s ashes home at last, and scattered them with his family in a beautiful spot I’m sure he would have loved. I said goodbye in quiet words intended just for him: “I couldn’t have imagined anyone more perfect to go through … Continue reading

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